Insecure and Dysfunctional. Well, who isn't?
Why are we so insecure? I do apologise if you're baffled by this presumptuous assumption, but we do seem to be beset with insecurities of all sorts (I'm keeping the royal 'we' to show solidarity with my fellow wimps of the world).
Am ugly. Am so stupid. Am such a fraud. Why is my career still non-existent? How could I possibly support myself and live to be happily-or-otherwise retired in my old age like normal people do? No one can possibly love me, and if they say they do, they don't really know me, they're only projecting what they want - the imagined me (all wonderful) - on this person - the real me (not wonderful), etc.
It's a wonder we can function as socially-responsible adults at all, when we're so tormented inside.
But that's just it. We do keep on living day by day, doing daily chores, pretending everything is chipper when all we want to do is just crawl up in bed and pretend that the world doesn't exist.
Isn't that amazing in itself? Aren't we tough as boots, though our confidence level might hit the bottom of the Mariana Trench?
Some psychologists tell you that unconditional approval from parents (esp. mothers) in childhood is essential in nurturing healthy self-confidence, and without that, we could be one hell of a nervous wreck of psychologically dysfunctional junks. Or something like that.
But aren't we all desperate for that approval, no matter what sort of childhood/parents we've had?
Isn't life about finding that place, one tiny little corner for yourself in this wide world, where you can feel safe, accepted, and wanted?
And I think we carve out that spot for ourselves by finding someone we could spend our life with, for one thing, and establishing ourselves in society by somehow building up this cantankerous thing called career, for another.
Seal of approval for our existence isn't some magical treasure that we missed in our childhood.
We're all lost, all so lonely and insecure, desperately longing to be accepted. And that's quite normal. Life's like that, because our life's journey is to find our way home.
So, chin up, us, we will get home one day.